We are Addicted to Connecting

Our World is One of Connection. We look outside ourselves for so much!

Connections, our ‘Tribe’, co-workers, besties, admirers, followers, ‘Likers’, Sharers, re-Tweeters, re-Pins, provide approval, validation, & respect. We see them as sending us love, understanding, recognition, an identity….a place where we ‘fit’ in. The Internet has especially brought this world of adulation, or the reverse of ‘haters’, right to our homes. It shows us the whiter teeth, the youthful appearance, right clothes to wear, how to act, look, and live.

Taking the wonderful online painting class with Pauline Agnew, (you can see the great class results here https://www.facebook.com/events/700902450011725/,) has brought all this into focus. For me, I found I thrive on having ‘worthy opponents’! It lights a fire within. I want to do the next project, post the next piece, get the wonderful feedback from this supportive group……almost to the point of addiction. I seek the validation to the point that once the class ends, I can understand why so many sign up for the next one. It fulfills some need, and feels really good.

I realized we are ALL addicted to something. For some, it may be being the overachiever at home where you do it all, being the Super Caregiver of the family, never asking for help since that’s not what the Adult is supposed to do. Guilt & shame come in if we can’t do it all, or if we feel we may appear weak. For others it’s exercise & diet. Fitting in with the other work-out warriors and at least being ‘as good as’ they are, is a strong addiction. It’s all there, and it’s all outside of ourselves. Approaching life as a competition, survivor takes all, makes it an addiction, but it’s also a power over people. We seek responses from others, wanting their acceptance, desiring to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, making ourselves ‘better’ than someone else. This is the human frailty we carry. Our addictions to connecting are never satisfied. Know it’s all a frame of mind.

There is no cure for this addiction ‘out there’. As Wayne Dyer would say, ‘Live from Dharma, not from ego’. Ego makes you small, creates doubts, says you aren’t good enough. Ego is not loving. The change has to come from within. My paintings come from inspiration, from the heart. I’m excited to grow as an artist, to try the hard things, to move forward to new possibilities. It’s an exciting way to live. Whatever I do, or don’t do, is all just fine, & is enough for today. Not being a Super-anything, letting go of all the outside opinions, brings  peace into my heart of hearts. I feel excited about all I do, not because of the effect on others, but because it’s a good way for me to live. It’s a shift in perspective that changes everything. And it’s very personal.